Witnessing a loved one lying weak on the brink of death is a heavy moment. The heart feels constricted, confused, and often panicked. We wonder, “Is this the time?” and “What should I do to help them?”
In Islam, this critical moment is called naza’ or the throes of death. It is the gateway from this world to the afterlife. As family, we have a significant role. It’s not just about crying, but about guiding them so that the last words from their lips are the words of tawhid (monotheism).
This article will discuss the signs of death physically and spiritually, as well as practical guidance on assisting a dying person (talqin) based on references from the book Asna al-Matalib by Sheikhul Islam Zakariya al-Anshari.
Recognizing the Signs of Approaching Death (Physical and Spiritual)
Often, it is difficult to distinguish whether someone is sleeping soundly, fainting, or experiencing naza’. Islamic jurists have observed several signs of approaching death according to Islam that can serve as a benchmark for the family to begin preparing. In the book Asna al-Matalib it is mentioned:
وأمارته أي منها استرخاء قدم وامتداد جلدة وجه وميل أنف وانخلاع كف وانخفاض صدغ وتقلص خصية مع تدلي جلدتها
Translation: “And its signs (of death) include: the weakening of the soles of the feet, the lengthening (becoming stiff/drawn) of the skin of the face, the drooping of the nose, the loosening (weakening of the joints) of the palms, the hollowness of the temples, and the shrinking of the testicles accompanied by the loosening of their skin.”
From the explanation above, the family can observe physical changes such as:
- Weakness in the Feet: The soles of the feet become very relaxed to the point of “falling” or drooping, no longer upright.
- Changes to the Face: The nose appears slightly crooked or bent, and the temples (left and right of the forehead) appear sunken inwards.
- Sagging Skin: Skin on the face that was previously firm becomes very loose.
Besides the physical signs, there are spiritual signs. A person nearing death often stares at a specific point with a blank yet piercing gaze, as if seeing something we do not see.
Note: If these signs appear, the family is encouraged to gather, increase their prayers, and begin the talqin process, rather than leaving the person alone.
The Procedure for Guiding a Dying Person (Talqin)
The core of this accompaniment is talqin. Talqin means teaching or guiding. The goal is one: so that the person who is about to pass away can end their life with Husnul Khotimah.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Guide with the kalimat Laa ilaha illallah (There is no god but Allah) those of you who are dying.” (Reported by Muslim).
Here are the steps on how to assist someone who is dying (sakaratul maut) according to the proper etiquette as outlined in the book Asna al-Matalib:
1. Arrange Body Position Facing the Qibla
If possible and without harming the patient, position the body on its right side facing the Qibla (like the position of a corpse in the grave). If it is difficult, let them lie on their back, but direct their feet towards the Qibla and slightly elevate their head with a pillow so that their face faces the Qibla.
وبأن يوجه للقبلة إذا احتضر
“And the person who is dying… is turned towards the Qibla.”
2. Whisper Gently, Do Not Force
This is the most important point. A person who is dying is experiencing extreme pain and intense thirst. Do not add to their burden with scolding or coercion.
Bring your mouth close to his ear, then say “Laa ilaha illallah” in a soft and clear voice.
In Asna al-Matālib it is explained:
قوله: (و) أن (يلقنه) الشهادة (غير الوارث)… (برفق)
“And the one who recites the testimony of faith should not be a family member… (it should be done) gently.”
Why is it stated “not an heir”? Scholars are cautious, fearing that if the guidance comes from an heir (potential recipient of the inheritance), the sick person might become suspicious or resentful (“This child wants me to die quickly so they can get the inheritance”). This resentment is dangerous in the final moments.
However, if the relationship between the patient and their heirs is very good and full of affection, then it is not a problem for a child or wife to guide them.
3. Sufficient is the Concise Statement of Tawhid
Is it necessary to complete it with “Muhammad Rasulullah”? The book Asna al-Matalib provides practical guidance:
قوله: (بلا زيادة) عليها فلا تسن زيادة محمد رسول الله لظاهر الأخبار
“Without additions (to the statement Laa ilaha illallah).”
The purpose is to ease a stiff tongue. Shorter sentences are easier to repeat. However, if he is able to utter the complete [recitation/prayer], that is certainly good.
4. Do Not Repeat If Already Uttered
If you have already guided him/her, and he/she has successfully uttered “Laa ilaha illallah”, then stop. Be silent. Do not ask him/her to repeat it again.
Let that be his/her final statement. Engage in further speech or repeat the *talqin* ONLY if he/she speaks of worldly matters afterward (e.g., asks for a drink or calls out a person’s name).
قوله: (فإن قالها لم تعد عليه حتى يتكلم) بغيرها من كلام الدنيا قاله الصيمري لكنه مخالف لظاهر كلامهم ولقول المصنف من زيادته على الروضة (ليكون آخر كلامه لا إله إلا الله)
“If he has uttered it, then be silent (do not guide him further), so that the statement of tawhid becomes the last of his words.”
Recommended and Forbidden Things During the Death Throes
Besides talqin, there are several other etiquettes that the family needs to pay attention to as part of preparing for death:
Recommended (Sunnah)
- Moistening the Throat: A person in the throes of death (naza’) is usually very thirsty. Drop water or wipe a wet cloth on their lips.
- Reciting Surah Yasin: It is recommended to recite Surah Yasin near the dying person (not too loudly as to disturb them) to ease the throes of death.
- Having Good Assumptions (Husnuzhan): Whisper words of hope. “Father, Allah is the Most Forgiving,” or “Mother, your illness will soon be gone, Allah loves you.”
Things That Should Be Avoided
- Hysterical Crying: Normal crying is permissible, but wailing or hysterical screaming near a dying person can disturb their peace.
- Worldly Talk: Avoid arguing about wealth or hospital bills in front of someone who is in the throes of death (naza’).
Summary Table: Do’s and Don’ts of Talqin (Guiding)
To make it easier to remember, here is a quick guide table for companions:
| Action | Explanation |
| Tone of Voice | Use a gentle tone, whisper, and be full of affection. Avoid a commanding tone. |
| Frequency | Speak slowly. If the patient has already imitated, STOP reciting. |
| Performer | It is recommended to be someone the patient loves most or a pious person (ustadz). |
| Content | Focus on the sentences of Tawhid and Husnuzhan (having good expectations of Allah). |
| Atmosphere | Create a calm atmosphere, keep away from noise or loud crying. |
FAQ: Questions About the Death Throes
Is a woman who is menstruating allowed to recite the talqin?
Permissible. There is no prohibition for a woman in her menstrual period or a person in a state of major ritual impurity to be near a dying person or to guide them in reciting the shahada, even though some deem it undesirable. The important thing is to maintain proper etiquette and decorum.
What if the patient is in a coma or unconscious?
Continue to perform talqin. Hearing is the last sense to function. Continue to whisper the Statement of Tawhid or La ilaha illallah and prayers into his/her ear. We do not know what the soul hears even though the body is still.
What are the signs that the throes of death (sakaratul maut) have ended (that someone has died)?
Usually marked by a complete cessation of breath, a fading/glassy gaze and staring upwards, a slight tilting of the nose, and the joints beginning to loosen. If this happens, immediately close the eyes and say Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un.
Understanding the signs of approaching death and practicing the proper way to guide someone who is dying is our most valuable final act of devotion. We help them win the final battle against the devil at the end of their life.
If Allah’s decree has arrived and the last breath has ceased, do not leave the body unattended. There are ‘first aid’ steps that must be taken so that the body does not become stiff and difficult to wash. See the steps at: 4 Things That Must Be Done Immediately After Someone Dies.
For those of you who want to know what to do immediately after someone is declared deceased (from the phase of washing the body to burial), please learn the steps in our article: A Complete Guide to Caring for the Deceased (Tajhizul Jenazah) According to the Sunnah.
Also, make sure you understand the ethics of being sick before this critical phase arrives, which we have discussed in the article: The Etiquette of the Sick and the Obligation to Repent Before Death Comes.
May Allah ease our tongues to utter Laa ilaha illallah at the time of our death. Ameen.
And Allah knows best.
Reference
Zakariyā al-Anṣārī, Asnā al-Maṭālib fī Sharḥ Rawḍ al-Ṭālib, with a ḥāshiyah by Aḥmad al-Ramlī, edited by Muḥammad az-Zuhrī al-Ghamrāwī (Cairo: al-Maṭbaʿah al-Maymānīyah, 1313 H; repr. Dār al-Kitāb al-Islāmī), vol. 1, p. 296.
