When talking about marriage, we often only focus on the reception or social status. In fact, in the study of Islamic fiqh, marriage has a very deep dimension. It’s not just a matter of this world, but extends to the hereafter.
One of the main references frequently studied in Islamic boarding schools is the book I’anatut Thalibin by Sheikh Abu Bakar Syatha al-Dimyathi. In this book, he elaborates on the details of fiqh munakahat (the laws of marriage) starting from the definition, history, to severe warnings for those who are reluctant to marry.
Let us thoroughly discuss the true essence of marriage in Islam based on the original text of the book.
Marriage: The Sharia from the Prophet Adam to Paradise
Many acts of worship that we perform in this world are severed when we die. However, marriage is different. Sheikh Abu Bakar Syatha explained:
والنكاح من الشرائع القديمة , فإنه شرع من لدن آدم عليه السلام واستمر حتى في الجنة
“And marriage is among the ancient (primordial) laws. It was legislated since the time of Prophet Adam (peace be upon him) and continues until in Paradise.”
The interesting point is that marriage in Paradise is valid and permissible. In fact, the rules of maḥram there are slightly different than in this world. In Paradise, a person may marry close relatives, except for parents (uṣūl) and descendants (furū’). Thus, the pleasure of companionship is one of the eternal blessings that are not severed by death.
3 Primary Objectives of Marriage (Maqashid Nikah)
Often people ask, what is the actual purpose of marriage according to Islam? The scholars and medical experts (as quoted in books) have formulated it into three main points:
- Hifzun Nasl (Preservation of Lineage): So that humanity does not become extinct and genealogy is preserved.
- Physical Health: The expulsion of fluids (semen) which, if retained for too long, could endanger the body.
- Nailul Ladzzah (Achieving Pleasure): Inner and biological satisfaction.
Interestingly, upon entering Paradise, the first and second purposes disappear. In Paradise, there is no longer the process of childbirth (reproduction) and no illness resulting from suppressing desire. What remains is only pleasure (Al-Ladzzah).
وهذه الثالثة هي التي تبقى في الجنة , إذ لا تناسل هناك ولا احتباس
“And it is this third purpose that remains in Paradise, for there is no longer the process of procreation nor retention (of fluids).”
Comparison Table of Marriage Purposes: Worldly vs. Hereafter
| Goal | In This World | In Paradise |
| Having Children | Exists | Does Not Exist |
| Physical Health | Exists | Does Not Exist |
| Enjoyment | Exists | Exists & Eternal |
Evidence of Marriage and the Encouragement of the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah
The legal basis of marriage is very strong, sourced from the Al-Qur’an, Hadith, and the Ijmā’ (Consensus) of scholars.
1. The Qur’an
Allah says in Surah An-Nisa, verse 3:
“…Then marry such women as please you of them – two or three or four…”
And Surah An-Nur, verse 32, concerning the command to marry those who are single.
2. Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) strongly emphasized that marriage is a natural disposition (fiṭrah) and his sunnah. He said:
من أحب فطرتي فليستن بسنتي , ومن سنتي النكاح
“Whoever loves my fitrah, let him follow my sunnah, and among my sunnah is marriage.”
Indeed, there is a subtle threat to those who “dislike” or are reluctant to follow this path without a shar’i reason, where they will not be recognized as belonging to the group of the Prophet on the Day of Judgement.
The Dangers of Remaining Single for Those Who Are Able
What about someone who chooses to live a celibate life despite being physically and financially capable? The book I’anatut Thalibin highlights this issue with a rather striking story.
There was a companion named Ukkaf who came to the Prophet. The Prophet asked him if he had a wife or a slave, and Ukkaf answered no, even though he was a wealthy man (musir).
The Prophet’s response was quite harsh:
قال أنت من إخوان الشياطين . لو كنت من النصارى كنت من رهبانهم
“You are among the brothers of Satan. If you were Christians, you would surely become their priests.”
The Prophet then continued with a saying often quoted by preachers:
شراركم عزابكم , أراذل أمواتكم عزابكم
“The worst of you are the bachelors, and the most contemptible of your corpses are the corpses of bachelors.”
Why is Celibacy So Condemned?
Not because of the status itself, but because of its potential for fitnah. A person who is not married despite being capable, finds it more difficult to lower the gaze and guard their chastity. Satan finds it easier to tempt a solitary person compared to those who already have a lawful spouse.
That is why it is said: “Whoever marries has completed half of his religion.”
The Meaning of Marriage: Between Language and Fiqh Terminology
It is common for debate to occur among students of knowledge: Is marriage the contract itself, or the physical relationship?
Linguistically (Lughatan)
Marriage means Ad-Dhammu (to gather) and Al-Ijtima’ (to congregate). Arabs use this word to describe trees leaning towards and merging with each other. There are also those who define marriage linguistically as wathi (intimate relationship).
According to Sharia (Terminology)
According to the Shafi’i school of thought, the definition of marriage is:
عقد يتضمن إباحة وطئ بلفظ إنكاح أو تزويج
“A contract containing permission to engage in sexual intercourse using the phrases ‘Inkah’ or ‘Tazwij’.”
Thus, the essence of marriage is the contract itself. The marital relationship is a consequence of that contract.
There is an interesting discussion about the nature of this contract:
- ‘Akad Ibahah: A contract that is ‘permissive’ in nature, allowing the husband to enjoy the wife (this is the strong/aujah opinion).
- ‘Akad Tamlik: An agreement pertaining to the “ownership” of the benefit of the wife’s body.
The difference is apparent in cases of oaths. If a husband swears “I possess nothing,” he does not break his oath even if he has a wife, because a wife is not a possession (property), but rather a partner who is permitted to him.
FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)
Is it permissible to get married with the intention of worship even if one is not yet financially established?
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Whoever abandons marriage out of fear of poverty is not from my community.”
Islam encourages marriage as a means of opening the doors of provision, so long as there is sincere effort (ikhtiar).
Will we meet our spouse again in Paradise?
Yes, marriage is a divinely ordained institution that continues into Paradise. Believing spouses will be reunited there.
What is the ruling on choosing not to marry (childfree/marriage-free) for life?
If the reason is raghiban ʿan sunnatī (harboring aversion or dislike toward the Prophet’s Sunnah), then it is strictly prohibited and described as being a “companion of Satan” in the hadith mentioned above. However, if there is a legitimate sharʿī excuse (such as illness or having no sexual desire at all/impotence), then the ruling is different.
Does marriage exist in Paradise?
Yes. As explained by Sheikh Abu Bakar Syatha, marriage is an act of worship that continues into Paradise, where believers will be reunited with their spouses or married to the pure ones (Hoor al-Ayn).
Marriage is not merely the union of two individuals, but a long act of worship whose roots are planted since the time of Prophet Adam and whose fruits can be harvested even in paradise. For those of you who are able, hastening to marry is the best step to protect yourselves and your religion.
Reference
Shaṭṭā, ʿUthmān ibn Muḥammad, Abū Bakr (al-Mashhūr bi-al-Bakrī) ad-Dimyāṭī. Iʿānat aṭ-Ṭālibīn ʿalā Ḥall Alfāẓ Fatḥ al-Muʿīn (Ḥāshiyah ʿalā Fatḥ al-Muʿīn bi-Sharḥ Qurrat al-ʿAyn bi-Muhimmat ad-Dīn). 1st ed. Beirut: Dār al-Fikr, 1997.
